In December my husband started to receive a subscription to Allure magazine. When it arrived I had to wonder why. Did someone give it to him as a joke? Was it a gift for me because I had recently renewed my interest in style and appearance? (that would be a long shot. He is quite contemptuous of the fashion world and certain sorts of marketing that aim to keep us all hungering for the next “big thing?) Did he want to look at beautiful young women? This was a more likely answer. But when questioned he said “No I thought I was ordering a fishing magazine A Lure.” This happened a couple years ago as well when we started getting US. He thought he had ordered U.S Weekly. A case of not listening carefully or paying attention.

Are you listening carefully or paying attention to whether your appearance matches your intended actions and attitudes? You might say you care about getting the job or the customer but your appearance doesn’t match that statement if you show up wearing a dirty hoodie or a sloppy shirt. This conveys the subliminal message that you don’t care enough to do anything different to get the job or the customer. Even here in the PNW. Even if that’s not what you mean.

When I started this journey I was shocked when I looked at myself and realized that what my appearance was saying was what I really felt and what I really was on the inside- an exhausted, depressed woman who spent too much time just going through the motions of living. I didn’t even have the awareness to know that was what was happening to me. Then a friend (on the pretext of helping him) helped me open my eyes to the fact that my life was not really a life but more of a forced march. And I dressed to match it.

My eyes are open now but I have to fight  every day to keep working my way to the edge of the marching formation and into the unit  with the dancing queens and nude cylists (who also need to be aware of using the same behavior patters and march over and over only in a less conventional way(. Have you looked inside lately to see what might be influencing your external world and results? How could your bring more joy into your life (or someone elses?).