Every day there are fights in my head. Do you have those fights? These are those moments of conflict with ourselves. I’m not leaving the house. Should I bother putting on anything but sweats? There is a last piece of cake. Should I eat it? There is a networking event next week. Should I go? I have a closet full of clothes. Do I need to buy more?
Your internal conversations are probably different than mine. And the conflicts change over time. For years one of my conflicts was about exercise. How do I fit in exercise today? Or should I fit in exercise today? This one has resolved itself with age and retirement. Instead of the choice being about how do I fit it in, it has become a choice of do I want to fit it in or become an unhealthy person who can’t take advantage of the years left in my life. That makes the choice in this conflict much easier. Plus it is easier to find the time to make that choice.
Another conflict in my head over the years has been about what I wear. In middle school it was easy to make the choice to care about how I look. I had extra time in my life and there is something about that age that makes you think everything you wear looks good. Witness anyone’s middle school picture to confirm that.
As I aged I found the conflicts over what to wear changed. Once my body changed and when I became a small business owner I found I had no time and I found that I could hide by being the plant lady. My clothes are just going to get dirty so why would I dress up? Then when I had my daughter there was the excuse that I have no time. During that period in my life I never wore anything that didn’t come as a gift or that wasn’t bought at a thrift store. There was no time to shop and I never knew what to buy anyway. When I opened my closet and had nothing to wear it was a downer. I didn’t even realize how it affected my self-confidence. It cascaded down and the choices I made were never about myself. I deferred decisions and then worried about them.
The decision I made to again care and take care of myself included looking at my wardrobe and appearance. The DIY approach took a l- o-n -g time and it was painful. I am back to enjoying fashion and taking joy in what I wear and how I look. And yes I still have days where I make the decision to look like a slump for the day and that is OK. It is no longer a reflection of how I value myself but a conscious decision.
Is wardrobe on your conflict list? Make a decision to move it off your list by solving the wardrobe conundrum or deciding it doesn’t matter. Don’t let it be one of those unresolved conflicts that is keeping you stuck. I am happy to help. Give me a call.
These conflicts waste time and mental energy. Recognizing and making a decision about them will free up that space and mental energy for living.Where are you in your head talk? What conflicts have you conquered?