Clean Closet Clear Mind

Clean Closet Clear Mind

The first step in dressing well starts in your mind. Because what’s in your mind shows up in your closet and on your body. Let me give you an example.

For years I felt that it was frivolous to spend money and time on myself when I perceived that I didn’t have time or money to spend on myself. I would wear things that were gifted or passed on to me. I would hit up the thrift store without a plan of what I needed.

I would allow confusion and hence obsession over my inability to put together an outfit that looked good on me to take up my time in the morning.
As I started to dig deeper I also discovered that I wanted to hide a body I was ashamed of. I also realized that as a woman I was tired of perceived unwanted attention from the opposite sex. By covering up, wearing worn items, choosing colors and styles that didn’t complement me and not having a plan when I did shop, I ended up with a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. I was uncomfortable in my clothes because I knew they weren’t right.
And it all started in my mind. I would look at beautiful clothes and tell myself I could get something beautiful when I reached a certain weight. I berated myself for not knowing what to wear. I beat myself up!

Are you still beating yourself up?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if your mind is the reason you have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.
1. When you look in the mirror do you focus on your perceived flaws instead of being neutral or positive about what you see?
2. Are you confused about what to wear?
3. Do you find yourself making impulse clothing purchases online, at the checkout counter or when you have a few minutes to spare?
4. Are you waiting until you are perfect to buy yourself something new?
5. Do you have a clothing budget?
6. Do you tell yourself it doesn’t matter how you look?
7. Do you think being comfortable means wearing sloppy clothes?
8. Do you think you might be trying to hide using your clothing choices?
9. Do you have clothes in your closet with tags still on them?

10. Is your closet so jam packed you can’t find anything?

When you don’t take time to care for yourself including your appearance and your mind, you are not allowing your full self to be present in the world. You may think your sacrifice is helping the world but in reality you are keeping yourself from showing up fully in the world.

Remember, what’s in your mind shows up on your body and in your closet. Let’s make it good! Take me up on the free 30 minute consultation. I can help you show up and shine.

What examples do you have of closet confusion? Now is the perfect time to clean up that closet confusion. Give me a call if you need help. I would love to work with you in person or virtually to make a change in how you show up.

Returning Home

Now that I am living and working on a schedule that is my own time and place I have returned a couple times to my childhood home. My father is 93. He does not see or hear very well. It is good that he can’t see me roll my eyes when I repeat what I have said for the 20th time today. It is good for my patience and a good reminder that this second act is not always going to be in my control and I should have a heck of a good time while it is. The odds are I will end up with these old age quirks – we all will. Our bodies will fail someday.

It is also hard not to get sucked back into that vortex that was growing up and the parental messages that were not even intended but that sunk in any way. One big one I realized I have is in relationship to money. In my home anyone with more than we had was “on their high horse” and “thought they were better than us.” This was never true. Those folks were just living their life in the best way they saw possible. I grew up with the belief that if I had money I would be a bad person. As you can imagine this affected my income level. I never charged enough for my services and worked very hard. I was ashamed of anything I had because I had “too much.” I needed to be barely scraping by to be a “good person.”

I am working hard to over come that parental message. We all deserve a living wage. Currency in the US is not backed by anything. The amount of it available is unlimited. If I make a lot of money I am not taking it from someone else. I am providing a service or good in exchange for a price that someone is willing to pay. I can take that money that I make and I can use it for good or evil. If I don’t make that money my choices are limited. I can’t help others if I can barely help myself. It is hard to be in a good mood if I am worried about that tax bill or meeting payroll.

Embrace the fact that it is OK to be wealthy if that is your choice. Don’t judge others for their choices. Live your own life in pursuit of your own ideals, beliefs and choices. LIfe is short. Don’t waste it worrying about how others spend their money or what they think of you.

Do you have any beliefs planted in childhood that are holding you back?

Back on Track

These last few months have been busy as I transition out of owning a plant business and into the new joyous style business (whatever form that ends up taking). As part of the transition I had to change the name of the business I owned. I pondered it for quite a few days. Here are some of the thoughts and ideas that passed through my head:

The retired plant lady
Liberte’
Free Woman (my daughter nixed that one thinking I might send the wrong message and there is already a free woman site) Metamorphosis (when my accountant wanted to know what I was going to call the metamorphosis)

Going back to my vision board I remembered my goal of freedom- freedom in time, freedom in thought, freedom in place and freedom in choice. That led to the new name “A Woman Liberated”. It speaks to me and will be a guiding light as I make choices about how to shape life after being the plant lady.

I am not free of the old business until January of next year and I could use that excuse as a reason to stop pursuing freedom right now but that would be another form of putting off life (which I have done for 31 years). Instead I have pulled out my 12 week year planner to remind me to take action every day towards my goals. I find that if I don’t take time to do this I will spend each day repeating what I have done in the past. Puttering around doing things that need to get done but that keep me stuck in the same place. And saying “I don’t have time to take on another thing” – which is an exhausting way to live. This planning forces me to prioritize each day to move forward and makes me to look at what I have done (or not done) each week. Putting me back on track to living the life of a Woman Liberated!

I picked up the planner again after a hiatus. The last time I had worked on it was for an August 9 completion. I discovered I had completed some of the goals.

  1. I sold my current business and completed the paperwork to get it done.
  2. Goal 2 to stay (or get) in shape to hike my 100 miles on the Pacific Crest trail at the end of the summer. I had accomplished most of the tasks but need to add in more hills and stick to the 1 drink a day strategy to really get it done. On the positive side the strength training was curing the plantar fasciatis and I was able to start running again after 18 months off. And I did complete my hundred miles (120 was the final tally).
  3. Work on this blog and an online color and style course are the items I have let slide. Looks like it is time to pick up the planner and figure out where this blog is going!