Does your brain ever get stuck? Mine keeps going in the same cycle of indecision and fear. Today I decided to try something new and try Fresh Paint – a Wiindows digital drawing program. I grabbed a branch of white pine that was laying in the trail and attempted to draw it. It was a bit frustrating and challenged me to look closely and observe colors. I’m pretty happy with the results. Using a pen and digital pad is not the most relaxing activity and may be better when I try it at a desk instead of sitting in a chair. I hope it helped get my brain unstuck. What helps you begin to think in new ways?
Now that I am living and working on a schedule that is my own time and place I have returned a couple times to my childhood home. My father is 93. He does not see or hear very well. It is good that he can’t see me roll my eyes when I repeat what I have said for the 20th time today. It is good for my patience and a good reminder that this second act is not always going to be in my control and I should have a heck of a good time while it is. The odds are I will end up with these old age quirks – we all will. Our bodies will fail someday.
It is also hard not to get sucked back into that vortex that was growing up and the parental messages that were not even intended but that sunk in any way. One big one I realized I have is in relationship to money. In my home anyone with more than we had was “on their high horse” and “thought they were better than us.” This was never true. Those folks were just living their life in the best way they saw possible. I grew up with the belief that if I had money I would be a bad person. As you can imagine this affected my income level. I never charged enough for my services and worked very hard. I was ashamed of anything I had because I had “too much.” I needed to be barely scraping by to be a “good person.”
I am working hard to over come that parental message. We all deserve a living wage. Currency in the US is not backed by anything. The amount of it available is unlimited. If I make a lot of money I am not taking it from someone else. I am providing a service or good in exchange for a price that someone is willing to pay. I can take that money that I make and I can use it for good or evil. If I don’t make that money my choices are limited. I can’t help others if I can barely help myself. It is hard to be in a good mood if I am worried about that tax bill or meeting payroll.
Embrace the fact that it is OK to be wealthy if that is your choice. Don’t judge others for their choices. Live your own life in pursuit of your own ideals, beliefs and choices. LIfe is short. Don’t waste it worrying about how others spend their money or what they think of you.
Do you have any beliefs planted in childhood that are holding you back?
I dream of clarity. Simplified focus on where I am going. But instead I often get interim chaos. Just like this closet.
These transitional times are periods of growth. My hope is that there is such confusion at some times because you are about to make a huge leap forward. I know I am moving forward at least with my wardrobe and hopefully with my business. After three years of reading books, blogs and learning about different thoughts on the wardrobe process ( and Marie Kondo ) I think I have found a solution. And it is so much simpler than all the things I worked through in various color systems and ideas about how to look slimmer.which left me with mixed messages.
It is a free course (which also took a year and a half and a few mistakes along the way) called Dressing Your Truth. The premise was hokey to me at first but I feel better about it now that I have clarity. It claims that your colors, the structure and texture of your clothing should match your energy movement. There are only 4 choices (with some sub combinations of those choices) and once I found the right choice I feel relief. I am still putting those pieces together – hence the closet chaos but I am that much closer to that simplified wardrobe where all the colors go together and I can easily get dressed for any occasion.
The 4 types or energies are tied to colors that use either a tint, tone, shade or pure hue of any color. When you get it right purple goes with red and green and blue and it is like a lightening bolt to realize what options are available in color combinations.
If you have been reading this blog you know it has been a painful time consuming process for me to feel good about how I look and how to get dressed.
I look forward to sharing a picture of an organized closet and well dressed self in the VERY near future.
What systems have you used to try to figure out what looks good on you?
In January we went to a portion of the West Seattle Art Walk. We started a little late and only made it to three businesses. After the event I marveled at the way these small business owners, artists and musicians had put themselves out there, exposing themselves and bringing their gift out into the world.
Our first stop was Viscon Cellars https://www.visconcellars.com/. This small winemaker has been producing wine since 2004. I believe this tasting room on California Ave has been open since 2014. The tasting pours were presented by the owner himself. A very personable and talented wine maker Ben was enthusiastic and described in great detail the blends used to create the wines we were presented. The one I remember the most is the Rhyme/Reason Syrah which used co-fermented viognier 5% and Syrah 95%. It tasted fabulous but the reason I remember it is the fact that I had never heard of a white and a red blended together. It apparently is a technique used in France but not used elsewhere very often. I love learning something new. We went home with a bottle of viognier to go with our salmon dinner.We also bought it because of the very attractive label and the story behind it.
Artist Greta Musland http://www.gretamusland.com/ was displaying her work at Viscon. She is currently using acrylic paints on one side of the canvas and an encaustic (wax process) on the other. Her portraits of urban wild animals were delightful. She has been allowing herself to be an artist for about 10 years. I find it fascinating to consider what would happen if we all allowed ourselves to be what we want to be instead of what society, family etc thinks we should be. One CAN dare to dream.
Next stop was http://cannawestseattle.com. They were displaying beautiful photographs of a wandering traveler. The one that caught my eye was of a camel in front of a beautiful body of water with arid mountains on the other side. There was a horizantal stripe effect in the composition that was dramatic. Unfortunately I can’t tell you who the photographer was since there is no link on there website to the artist and my memory is not that good. A traveling photographer journeying to exotic locales and a cannabis company taking a chance in the current state of legal affairs are both putting themselves out there.
Final stop of the evening was at C and P Coffee where it was open mike night. We caught the last 4 performances of the evening – all guitar and vocal performances. The first one wrote their own songs and the other 3 played cover songs from a wide variety of known artists. I am so glad they shared their gift with us that night.
What is your gift? Are you sharing it and putting yourself out there or are you keeping it bottled up inside?
I started this project in November thinking it had potential for the holidays. I took this stained lace shirt and this beautiful but dated pink silk shirt to try to make something festive.
I was wrong. At least for me.The first go round made this look like something my mother would have worn (not to knock her style – we all should rock whatever it is). Sort of tent like. And I am not really a wearer of “delicate” items which this turned out to be.
It also looked a little dated and out of style. I hung it back in the closet. Then the other day I decided I couldn’t just abandon it. I ruched the sleeves a bit and added the cuffs I cut off the shirt as pockets.
The end result looked a little cuter and trendier but it still is not my style. Any delicate and maybe younger looking women out there who can pull it off? It’s yours. My Valentine gift to you. Just reply to this post on Facebook.